It was so exciting when I chose my first month's food, and the huge box filled with all my little boxes of food arrived. I was excited the first day as I packed my meals into my lunch bag for work. And when I weighed for the first time a week and a half later and had lost almost 12 pounds, I was still excited.
About three months into the plan though, I was SO unhappy. I couldn't have fruit. I was severely limited in what vegetables I could have. I couldn't have milk or cheese or any of the dairy I was used to - even in moderation. When I went out to dinner with friends, I had to sift through my salad for things I COULD eat, and discard the things I couldn't. I couldn't drink juice, or regular soda EVER. I couldn't have a splurge day, EVER.
I had no energy to work out AT ALL. I didn't feel full EVER, or satisfied by what I was eating. I couldn't stop craving "bad" foods.
I was miserable.
One day about two and a half-three months on the plan, I was managing a concession stand for the local youth football league and I barely had a chance to eat ALL day. That night I was so hungry that I gave in and ordered pizza. And it was AMAZING. And the next day, and the day after that? I was so so so sick. Sicker than I'd ever been in my life.
But it also showed me how unhappy I was. The plan was so restrictive. Instead of filling my body with natural things, I was eating prepackaged, tasteless meals. I wasn't getting any GOOD carbs, natural fiber, etc. And I wasn't getting healthier, or stronger. I was getting skinnier (used as a broad term, I was still overweight, even having lost almost 30 pounds.) I couldn't run or lift weights, and I was ALWAYS starving.
About a month later, I went off the plan. The holidays happened, and I ate. New Year's and Valentine's Day, then a vacation happened, and I ate. I gained most of those 30 pounds back. Then slowly I started going to the gym again, and thinking about the way I was eating - all of which led me to my recent huge change in my lifestyle and my foods.
Last year was an incredibly weird and challenging year - some good things happened, and some of the worst things I've ever endured happened. I won't lie and say I didn't eat for comfort, but what I learned was that commercial weight loss plans aren't for me. I won't be trying Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, etc.
I'm happy with where I'm at - eating good foods that benefit me, like fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. Making up my own recipes as I go along. I'm losing slowly, and that's absolutely okay, because this time? I'm happy. I had to go through all that to get HERE. And "here" is a very good place.