yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
courageous | silly | whimsical | geek | writer
romantic | whovian | hopeful | survivor.


@ ghostsighs (dreamwidth)


I might be just a sinner, who wants to be a saint. One justifies the reason; one understands the pain. )
yourgravity: ([bones] angela/hodgins.)
 


                                                                                "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
                                                                                                                  - Confucius
yourgravity: ([once] emma swan.)
So, it's been a long time. I was FaceTiming with [livejournal.com profile] twirly the other night and she was like "Dude you haven't updated your LJ in forever." I still wander over here from time to time because nostalgia, but I spend most of my time on Twitter. I'm @MissMolliWrites there, and I'd love to chat with anyone who might see this.

So...2014. What a year. 2014 was WEIRD, man. I had some super amazing highs, and some really weird lows. I was in an odd headspace for a few months, and had some odd fights with a dear friend, and just didn't feel like ME. So in December, I bascially took that month off from everything and got my priorities in order and my karma right.

2014... The One Where If It Could Happen, It Did

  • I published a book in March of 2014. AS YOU TURN AWAY tried to kill me a few times during edits but it's been out in the world for a year now.

  • I published a second book in December of 2014. ONE SONG AWAY is a rom com that has a huge part of my heart. Some people like it. Some people hate it. It's all good.

  • I went back to California! Kay and I spent about a week together and fell even more in love.

  • At the end of this month, we're going to Florida together, along with a few of my best friends. My girl is coming here to TN and then we're all driving to Florida together. I can't wait! I've missed her so, and can't wait to hold her in my arms again. We've been apart for about 11 months now, and some days are hard...but we are both working toward being ready to fully be together in person.

  • I'm still at WalMart. Most weeks I work almost full time hours, with the occasional drop in hours. I'm fairly happy there. I have insurance, 401K, and it's a great atmosphere. I still want to write full time but I need to work until I can make that happen.

  • I'm working on my third book now (a companion to my first). It's ridic so far.

  • Let's see, what else... I realized that even though I'm writing what New Adult (an age range) is to me, I'm writing what most people would call adult contemporary romance, so that's an epiphany. I have plans for a fuckton of books in the next few years though so yay!

  • My family remains...my family. Mom and Kay "met" over Facetime one night and that went well, but otherwise, no change. I keep hoping, but I'm also realistic enough to realize that all I can really do is chase after my own happiness.

  • Friendship wise, 2014 was WEIRD. But taking that time in December to strengthen some friendships really helped. And others were solid throughout the year, and that was awesome.

  • TV wise, I dropped some shows I wasn't into anymore, which leaves me at about 5... Castle, OUAT, Arrow, The Flash, Supernatural, and 12 Monkeys.

  • I'm hoping to join a gym - any gym - again. I put on about 10 pounds in 2014 and it's definitely time to lose it and a bit more. I'm really enjoying eating healthier - in 2014 I tried a lot of new fruits and veggies and got over my fear of eating "odd" foods for the most part.

  • Ummm that's really it. I'm just trying to live as positively as I can, and love as much as I can. Would love to hear from anyone who feels like saying hi. <3

yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
I keep thinking I'll do an update here. I thought I *had.* Then I saw my last update was in January. REALLY? January. I used to update my journal like once a day. SIGH. If any of y'all are on Twitter, I basically live there. Hit me up. I'm @MissMolliWrites and would love to chat.

Life... is pretty good. I'm getting ready to finish the first draft of my second book, which will be published in November, with a little luck. I'm working pretty much full time at WalMart, but pursuing some other opportunities. I really want something with more stable hours, so that's what I'm thinking I'd like to find if possible. I went to California to see Kay in April, and we're planning a fall trip for her to come here. My furbabies now include one more dog, bring it to two cats and three dogs. And I've been slowly starting to work out again. I'm not blogging or reading as much, and have been trying to get out more, spend time with friends as often as I can (it sucks being broke), and I'm planning to do the Florida thing next year with my group.

Hope everyone is splendid. <3 <3 
yourgravity: ([stock] make dreams happen.)
This time last year I was a little ways into what would become another attempt in a long line of failed diets.  This time, I'd  chosen Take Shape For Life/Medifast, and initially I was really excited to be on the plan.  A friend of mine had amazing results on the plan, and I read all the testimonials on it.

It was so exciting when I chose my first month's food, and the huge box filled with all my little boxes of food arrived.  I was excited the first day as I packed my meals into my lunch bag for work.  And when I weighed for the first time a week and a half later and had lost almost 12 pounds, I was still excited.

About three months into the plan though, I was SO unhappy.  I couldn't have fruit.  I was severely limited in what vegetables I could have.  I couldn't have milk or cheese or any of the dairy I was used to - even in moderation.  When I went out to dinner with friends, I had to sift through my salad for things I COULD eat, and discard the things I couldn't.  I couldn't drink juice, or regular soda EVER.  I couldn't have a splurge day, EVER.

I had no energy to work out AT ALL.  I didn't feel full EVER, or satisfied by what I was eating.  I couldn't stop craving "bad" foods.

I was miserable.

One day about two and a half-three months on the plan, I was managing a concession stand for the local youth football league and I barely had a chance to eat ALL day.  That night I was so hungry that I gave in and ordered pizza.  And it was AMAZING.  And the next day, and the day after that?  I was so so so sick.  Sicker than I'd ever been in my life.

But it also showed me how unhappy I was.  The plan was so restrictive.  Instead of filling my body with natural things, I was eating prepackaged, tasteless meals.  I wasn't getting any GOOD carbs, natural fiber, etc.  And I wasn't getting healthier, or stronger.  I was getting skinnier (used as a broad term, I was still overweight, even having lost almost 30 pounds.)  I couldn't run or lift weights, and I was ALWAYS starving.

About a month later, I went off the plan.  The holidays happened, and I ate.  New Year's and Valentine's Day, then a vacation happened, and I ate.  I gained most of those 30 pounds back.  Then slowly I started going to the gym again, and thinking about the way I was eating - all of which led me to my recent huge change in my lifestyle and my foods.

Last year was an incredibly weird and challenging year - some good things happened, and some of the worst things I've ever endured happened.  I won't lie and say I didn't eat for comfort, but what I learned was that commercial weight loss plans aren't for me.  I won't be trying Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, etc.

I'm happy with where I'm at - eating good foods that benefit me, like fruits, vegetables, and lean meats.  Making up my own recipes as I go along.  I'm losing slowly, and that's absolutely okay, because this time?  I'm happy.  I had to go through all that to get HERE.  And "here" is a very good place. 
yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
I wanted to talk a bit about two things: what I've been eating, and what I HAVEN'T been eating.  I'm due a grocery store run to stock up today (I hope), and I want to branch out and try a few new things.  I also don't want to get burned out by eating the same things over and over again (although there is a lunch meal I've sorta fallen for recently.)


healthylunch

That is: squash, mushrooms, bell peppers, and onions.  The cool thing?  Everything but the onions came from our garden, so I know what went into growing them, what was put on them, etc.  I am trying to buy more fresh stuff, and I know sometimes that still isn't the *best*, but damn, organic stuff is EXPENSIVE.

Last night was my first big challenge.  The family wanted pizza, and even though the *idea* of it sounded nice, the thought of actually eating it?  No.  I thought of all that grease and dough and how BAD I'd feel - physically and mentally - and was able to say no pretty easily.  I decided to follow my impulse to eat healthy and I made:

healthydinner

Green beans (canned, yuck, but I didn't have any fresh ones), sweet potatoes with sea salt and cracked black peppercorns (SO GOOD I wasn't sure how these were going to turn out), and grilled chicken with Mrs Dash (salt free) Lemon Pepper and a little bit of mozzarella cheese sprinkled on top.  And it was good.  Really good.

Then later, because I was a LITTLE hungry and wanted a nice snack, some grapes!

healthysnack

So that's a typical day for me.  I'm trying really hard to only eat meat in one meal (usually dinner.)  I've had a few heavier dinners than I wanted, but it's mostly lean meat and lots of veggies.  The other day I didn't eat meat at all.  I want to start doing that maybe once a week.

Mostly as long as I snack on fruit/etc throughout the day, I'm doing pretty well.  I have the bad habit of getting involved in something and forgetting to eat, so I'm working on that.  I'm about to go make a smoothie, or try, since I don't have a lot to go IN it.

Now my next big challenge is exercising: I need to start doing more of it.  I'm DYING to get back in the gym for Zumba, the elliptical, WEIGHTS.  I MISS lifting weights, and the progress I was making.  So that's my next goal.

Later, lovelies! 
yourgravity: ([daisies] charlotte "chuck" charles)
I told myself I'd weigh today, and at the same time, told myself not to get upset if the numbers didn't say what I wanted them to say - that being any decrease in weight.  I approached this without a point of reference in mind really; I knew what I weighed about two months ago, and  I knew I'd gone up since then, but not how FAR up.  I didn't weigh when I got home from California to get an idea of where I stood, so although I *think* today is progress, I'm not sure.  So I'm considering this my starting point, and it will be interesting in about two weeks when I weigh again.

I'm not going to get on the scales every day.

I'm NOT going to agonize over every choice I make.

I'm not going to torment myself if I don't lose "enough," etc.

I had a piece of chocolate zucchini cake last night after eating healthy all day - in fact, I just realize quite by accident, I had NO meat at all yesterday.  I was a little hungrier than normal, BUT I ate pretty well.  I had:

  • 1 and 1/2 bananas for breakfast

  • Lunch was mixed vegetables (fresh squash, fresh mushrooms, onions, fresh bell and banana peppers) sauteed in olive oil and salt free Mrs Dash, and a baked sweet potato.  YUM.  It was a bit of a late lunch but it kept me full until early evening.

  • Snack was another banana.

  • Dinner was a huge salad, with mixed lettuce (including romaine), and baby spinach, with two hard boiled eggs.  I ate late because I got home from working on a friend's computer, so I didn't want anything too heavy.

So, I splurged on the cake, and I sort of wish I hadn't, but I'm not going to make myself feel TOO guilty.  That'll just be my splurge for awhile.  I really still am not craving soda at all, and I think if I have small "sweet" something every now and again I'll be okay.  I bought fresh strawberries to have at night if I need an extra snack/a dessert, so that should stand in for chocolate/etc.  It's just training myself to crave GOOD stuff instead of bad.

So anyway, long story short now I've rambled about what I'm eating (I'm about to make a huge smoothie this morning, YUM), I got on the scales, and I'm at 230.5.  The ONLY reference I have, like I said above, is where I was awhile back, at 232-233.  So I'm looking forward to seeing how the next week and a half-two weeks goes.  I am determined to get back to the gym this week so I can start adding some weights back into my work-out; I'm afraid to do TOO much without the weights to keep strengthening or toning.  I was doing so well on bench - so near my goal of benching 100 pounds, and I was starting on the military press, which was kicking my butt.  So I miss all of that, plus Zumba, and my time on the elliptical.  That's my goal for this week.

Happy Friday, guys! 
yourgravity: ([btvs] buffy.)
Healthy eating-ish update!  Hopefully y'all will start seeing a lot more of these.

I made a mini-grocery run the other day to stock up on a few essentials: some more fresh fruit, fresh mushrooms, and olive oil.  I can't stand cooking in anything other than olive oil anymore.  I've been trying hard to stay away from butter, although we had skillet corn the other night that I know my mother cooked in butter.  That's the hardest thing - living in a house with three other people, all who have or have had their own weight issues.  The South loves to deep fry things, or just generally indulge in good ol' comfort food, and the problem is, I love some of that stuff, too.  But it doesn't love me back.

Just since I started eating healthier, I FEEL so much better.  My stomach isn't upset like it was when I was eating junk, I'm tired at a decent hour again, and for the most part, waking up much earlier than I was before.  It's weird in a nice way to be ready for bed at 10:30 or 11 instead of 1am, and waking up at 7:30 or 8 is nice.  I'm working on training myself to get up earlier than that, and hopefully I will be soon.

I had two cups of coffee this morning but that was all I wanted.  I have had my coffee with sugar in it once or twice in the last week and a half, but mostly I'm putting honey in it.  I may start trying it black slowly so I'm not dealing with sweetener at all, since I know even honey isn't perfect.  I got rid of my Splenda, and I WANTED to try Agave, but didn't want to spend the money on it and not be sure if I'd like it.

I had sweet tea the other night at dinner and it was okay - too sweet, really.  I keep meaning to make some for the family, then I don't.  I haven't had soda in a week and truthfully, I haven't missed it AT ALL, which is amazing for me.  I don't think I'll have any problem just making it an every once in awhile treat.  So basically my ONLY caffeine recently has been my morning coffee, but it's good knowing that I'm not depending too much on caffeine.

That's it for today, I think.  I've been helping can and bag/freeze veggies all day; now we're making pickles, then I HOPE I have time to go for a swim. 
yourgravity: ([bones] angela.)
When I was in California recently, I felt so inspired by all the GOOD food choices I saw others making; when I came home, I vowed to start back eating healthy and make working out a priority again.  I was doing great before my Florida vacation, but then I was "on vacation" and when I came home, I didn't really get back to where I left off before.  But California was awesome - seeing things like Whole Foods, and so many healthy options was wonderful, and really opened my eyes.

A friend and I stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way back from Nashville, and I had one last splurge meal (their pancakes are FANTASTIC), and since then, I've done pretty well.  I'm a huge coffee / sweet tea drinker, so I've been trying to have honey in my coffee in place of sugar.  And instead of three cups, I've had only one or two.  I've been drinking mostly water, and only had one small soda when I went to the city pool the other day.  I felt so bad, but I had a hot dog - but I was starving, and you can't bring food in WITH you.  Ugh.

I've also been more active.  I've been on my treadmill twice, and swam for awhile in the pool on Tuesday.  I'm not fixating on any goals just yet or weights except being healthier.

My family wanted to go to an Italian restaurant last night so I got a grilled chicken salad.  Then I stocked up on fruits and snacks.  SO HAPPY.  I FEEL so much better already, and I'm really excited for garden vegetables.  Some are already coming in, and one of my goals is to try new things.  (Just not tomatoes.  Yuck.)

This feels REALLY good.  I was happily surprised I was able to do a bit on the treadmill; swimming felt good, too.  It's been so rainy here since I got back that I'm not sure how much I can do outside, but I'm trying to get out there as much as I can for the sunshine.  And I have my gym membership, so I'm determined to start using that more, too!

healthy1healthy2

Groceries, and then this morning's smoothie - before and after.  SO GOOD.

More healthy updates coming soon, hopefully!  I'm off to do some cleaning, mail out some resumes, and then eat a snack.  :)
yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
I love you more than I knew I could ever love someone.
And God it runs so deep
I can barely even breathe.
Let me be your shelter from the storm.


This time last week, I was running around frantically, getting ready for my trip to California.  Now after a long flight in the early hours of the morning, I'm home, but the strange/wonderful thing is, I feel like "home" is now in California.

Home is holding her hand tightly.

Home is a sweet longing that led to tentative snuggles and glances, shy, cute moments, and the most perfect first kiss.

Home is our playlist on in the background and long talks about us - sharing stories and memories, and making new ones.

Home is falling so slowly, minute-by-minute, then all at once.

Home is meeting her friends and feeling comfortable with them right away.

Home is late nights spent with one another in the sweetest way.

Home is waiting for me and I can't wait to go back. 

I had an amazing trip.  I was only nervous about getting to my connecting flight on time, since my flight out of Nashville was delayed.  But it was all worth it - the crappy airplane food, security, being nervous, walking down that escalator and into Kay's arms.  I am so so happy I went, and that we got to spend so much precious time together.  I can't stop thinking about how adorable she is (even though she'll read this and make that cute expression like "what?" but it's true, you are.)

Things were really shy at first, and I think we were both trying to see where we stood.  After so long of hoping, meeting in person was really amazing.  For the first time we could TALK in person.  Look into each other's eyes.  I could see where she lived, and meet her family and her friends.  I got to explore California with her (we went to the coast, to an aquarium, and to a jelly belly factory, along with dinner with friends, shopping, and such.)  I got to see somewhere new and wide open, and full of possibility.

By the third day together, we were so much more comfortable, and affectionate, and I love that.  We aren't that couple you see making out in public, but just little glances, snuggling, or hand-holding, or I'd put a hand on her back.  It all just.... SIGH.  It all fell so sweetly and perfectly into place.  The sparks I'd hoped for were there in full force, but it's so much more than that.  (I am very very glad they ARE there though!  It wasn't forced - just something we felt, and it happened very organically and beautifully.)

It's laying in bed talking about the future, and sharing parts of ourselves from our past and present. It's feeling so comfortable around her.  It's being "good nervous."  It's seeing the smiles on our friend's faces when they see how happy we are.  It's being told I look "radiant" by friends who can see what love looks like on me.  It's hope for a future that I know we both want.  It's knowing this is more right than it ever was with anyone else.

This is our beginning, and it was perfect.

I love you, [livejournal.com profile] twirly
yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
I'm going back to the gym tomorrow, yay!  I can't remember if I mentioned it on here yet or not, but I joined a gym in town for a three month trial membership.  Whereas the gym I was at last year was a start-up - not much equipment, not very organized, crowded - this is a bigger, and all around nicer place.  For the first 12 visits, someone on staff works with us (my mom joined with me.)  Tomorrow will be my 4th visit, and I'm moving up in reps (from 1 to 2) and back on the elliptical.  YAY! 

I've missed this - working out.  It's my time to just push myself, but also shut off any worries/etc.  I get to breathe (and sometimes gasp), and de-stress.  Home-wise, we're eating healthier, and I'm back off sodas.  I saw myself starting to drink way too many.  I didn't like that, so that's over.  I'll have one every once in awhile, but not like I was.  I'm not doing anything too special - just watching what I eat, increasing the water I drink, limiting carbs, and working on being more physically active.  I miss Medifast, but I can't afford it. 

My head is full of thoughts tonight, so I'm going to go do some reading.  I'm caught in between like sixteen decisions to make about school - wanting to go back, not sure which avenue to pursue.  So I'm settling in to my evening routine - reading, then Doctor Who S1 and hot tea, later! 
yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
I made THIS last night, in reference to goals, both short, and long-term.  I'm finding it pretty inspiring so far.  Let's see how I do!

Happy 2013, y'all!
yourgravity: ([stock] life is beautiful.)




@ ghostsighs (dreamwidth)

2012

yeah i'm ready to feel now
now longer am i afraid of the fall down
it must be time to move on now, without the fear of how it might end
i guess i'm ready to love again


it must be time to move on, now; )
yourgravity: ([the hunger games] gale/katniss; we coul)
Originally posted on Facebook.  I was going to do a survey type thing/meme, but then I realized...this sums up my year.  :)

I remember the last time I wrote one of these notes, and the place I was in.  This year I've been in a state that was a hundred times worse,and then I dropped all that negativity, and brought back my positive attitude, my hope, and just generally being confident in myself.  Iwanted to share a few things I learned in 2012, and talk about where I'm at, for 2012.

I learned that it's okay to cry, but as I promised myself in 2011...I only cried when I needed to.  Things that would have broken me before didn't hit me so hard this year.  I saved my tears for when they really mattered.

I learned that it's okay to be sad, to give yourself permission to "not be okay" in the hopes that if one day is bad, the next day will be better.

I learned that things change, sometimes slowly, sometimes in the blink of an eye, or the beat of a heart, and that you have to change
with them

I learned that it's okay to be brave, and that sometimes couragepushes fear out of the way and whispers, "I'm going to do this," - whether it's new responsibilities at work, admitting to a life-changing mistake, saying the words that will forever change the way people lookat you, or taking the first step to open your heart to someone

I learned that it's okay to miss people - friendships, lost loves ones.  And I learned that sometimes those people come back - and
sometimes they don't.  I learned that it's okay to wish that things could be like they once were - but that you don't always get what you
wish and that more often than not, you have to be ready to greet the next chapter of your life - new friends, a new job, etc - with eyes wide open.

I learned that if someone is supposed to be in your life, they will be.  And I learned that of all the things I can and should do, chasing after someone to keep them in my life doesn't work.  Friends move on.

People let go.  And if you're lucky, someone new will be there to take your hand. For the friendships that waned (Julie), others were there to fill in those spaces (Dawn, Holly)

I learned that my heart is stronger for the cracks.

I learned that the more often you smile, the lighter you feel.  I learned that laughter really IS healing

I learned to forgive.

I learned that the best friends are the ones who - despite how often or how little you talk - when you DO see them, it's just like it'salways been

I learned that love is sometimes waiting, just when and where you least expected it.  To [livejournal.com profile] twirly: here's to OUR 2013.  May we laugh, love, grow closer, and just generally treat one another with amazing kindness and patience as our love grows. 

I learned that with the help of amazing friends, I can "be better."  [livejournal.com profile] _touched taught me that.

Here's to an amazing 2013 full of laughter and love, and being the best "me," I can possibly be.

yourgravity: ([stock] dream.)


Just a quick concert recap, both for anyone who might be interested and considering seeing these groups, and also, to go OMG YAY!  I had the best time in Nashville, even with the slight confusion over where the hotel was (I don't go to Nashville very often, sadly.)  And the entire last 48 hours - whoa.  I was up way late on Thursday, then way early on Friday to head to Murfreesboro to shop, then to Nashville.  The concert let out around 11:00, and after we wandered around downtown for awhile, my mom and I ended up at the Hard Rock Cafe (onion rings and chicken tenders!) and then we got back to the hotel and actually in bed (for me at least) at around 1am.  Then I had to be up at 4:45am to get up, get on the road, and back home to work a 12 hour day in the concession stand for the LAST day of their youth football league's games.  OY. 

So needless to say, last night, I was a tired girl.  But it was SO SO SO worth it.

Eden's Edge played first, and their lead singer was WAY too chatty with the audience.  I only knew one or two of their songs, and they've got a good sound, but nothing too special - they're just super radio friendly.  The more the lead singer talked, the more annoying her screechy voice got.  *shudders*

Then it was the Eli Young band!  My reaction: "FUCK YES!"  I was up on my feet as soon as they hit the stage!  They played "Always the Love Songs," "Small Town Kid," "Say Goodnight" (wherein I went all melty), "Crazy Girl," and "Even If It Breaks Your Heart."  Let me tell you, there's NO studio magic happenin for these guys.  They sound AMAZING live.  "Even If it Break Your Heart" made me tear up in a good, inspiring way.  I wish they'd played for hours!  They were really engaging and gracious, talked a bit about how much their lives had changed with "Crazy Girl," which really got them - finally - the recognition they deserve.  I wish more than anything they had played "Guinivere" from their Jet Black and Jealous album, but ah well.  It's just AMAZING seeing these guys, who I've loved for years now, finally getting successful!

After that, it was time for Little Big Town to hit the stage.  I haven't liked as much of their recent music for some reason, but they played several favorites, and several off "Tornado," their new album, which was awesome - because now I may actually end up buying it.  So thanks for the sampler!  haha.  They played "Pontoon," "On Your Side of the Bed," "Tornado," "Bones," "Bring It On Home To Me" (!!!!!!! shout out to the second album!), and "Boondocks."  I was on my feet singing and dancing during "Boondocks!"

Then the LONGEST WAIT EVER while the producers of "Nashville" came out and took some shots of the audience to use on the show...then...finally.... RASCAL FLATTS!

Oh man, what to say about my boys?!  They were so happy to be back in Nashville - home for them.  They hadn't played a Nashville show in a few years, so they did something awesome: they let us shout out songs we wanted to hear, then they picked about four and played them.  I got to hear: "Take Me There," "Mayberry," "Why Wait," and one more I'm forgetting.  Then Jay played "Lean On Me," and showed off his piano talents, and Joe Down made a guitar do things I didn't know a guitar could do!

But to back up, they came out to the first chorus of "Changed," then did the requests, then played "Hot In Here," (and by this point I was dancing for all I was worth and singing at the top of my lungs.  HEE.  After that, they talked about how happy they were to be back in Nashville, then they boys all joked around with each other for awhile, had each section ("their" sections) of the audience cheer the loudest - I was in Gary's section!!!!  Then they played "Open Arms" by Journey and God bless his heart, Gary was living that one up, you could tell. 

After that, they played "Fast Cars and Freedom," in which I teared up (makes me think of good memories," and "Bless the Broken Road," where I outright cried thinking of just a LOT of things, including how happy I am to be where I'm at now.  Gary talked a little after that song about what it meant to them, and how if you ARE on a "broken road," there's always the option of turning to God for help.  I'm not overly religious, but I DO believe, so of course when he was doing that, and he was doing a mixture of talking and singing, it was a bit emotional, but kinda cool, too!

They sang "Come Wake Me Up," and I HAD to call and leave [livejournal.com profile] twirly a message.  I bawled my way through that song, because damn, it's SO beautiful and makes me think of a fic Kay and I are writing. 

Then Gary came out just with a guitar and started playing "Stand," which made me cry AGAIN.  It's SUCH an incredibly inspiring song for me, and it makes me think of two of my close friends and some memories we made in 2006. 

The guys traded off during songs, which I loved.  Suddenly songs that normally Gary is the only one who sings in them, Jay and JD got to sing too!  Which is like: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.  I just, I fell for them all over again.  They may be who they say they are, and they may not be, but what they definitely are is MY favorite musicians, hands down, FOR EVER AND EVER. 

They did "Banjo," from the new album, so I squee'ed of course, because THAT song makes me think of being in Florida in April, heading to the beach, because we heard it a lot there.

They did "Here's to You," almost last, which was awesome, since that's there song for their fans.  I've loved that one ever since I first heard it!  Then they sang "Me and My Gang," which was a good song to dance to, as was "Summer Nights," even though it isn't summer anymore.  heehee.

Another song I teared up during is "My Wish."  That one is just SO SO SO beautiful.  It made me think of loved ones and friends, and what I want out of life for them.  And it made me think of a few people who aren't in my life anymore, but whom I still wish well.  And it made me think of a certain someone, too! 

"These Days," made me all nostalgic when they sang it, and I'm SO SO glad I got to hear it live again.  I remember taping - with a cassette tape - that one off the radio in...2003 I think it was, when it was their single off the Melt album. 

Then they closed with "What Hurts the Most," which of course made me cry, but it was so beautiful, probably the BEST song they did all night.  I just, I adore that song so much.  It made me remember where I've been, so it was bittersweet, but it also made me realize that that won't ever be me again - in a relationship that ends without me telling the other person how I feel.  It's a sad song, but it puts things in perspective, and the boys did it justice.

Then they had everyone out for an encore and played "American Band," which was pretty kickass. 

So overall a GREAT GREAT night.  I could have sat there all night listening to them joking around with each other and singing, but the show had to end.  I had a lot of fun.  I sang and danced, and screamed and went a little hoarse.  I can't wait to do it all over again, and I really hope they come back to Nashville next year (and that I have a better camera by then!)
yourgravity: ([stock] squee-worthy.)



So, [livejournal.com profile] twirly pretty much made my day today.  We are embarking on a storyline within our writing project that should be...amazing.  I am a very happy girl today.  Well, I try to be most days, but today especially.  I adore these characters.  I adore writing with Kay!

I was so exhausted today so I spent awhile napping, and that really helped improve my mood.  I was just so drained, and tired!  I feel better now and am going to settle in soon to do some reading, then head to bed.  Tomorrow starts a new week, which should be challenging, but good hopefully. 

In other news, I haven't weighed in probably three weeks, but I'm going to weigh soon.  I've started a Goodwill pile of clothes that are actually getting too big, which makes me SUPER happy.  Hopefully I can get some new pants and shirts soon, since I'm slowly getting back into things that were too small, but once I start losing more, I will need another pair of two of dress pants for work and a few nice shirts.  YAY!
yourgravity: ([the hunger games] finnick odair.)



OKAY WORLD.

WE HAVE A FINNICK! 

I can't even believe this is happening.  For me...THG books/films are MY Harry Potter - my series to get swept away and caught up in, to sob and laugh over, to be emotionally CHANGED.  Between my love for Gale, Gale/Katniss, Finnick/Annie, and Finnick...plus just the messages in the series, the strong herione...I just, I can't even BELIEVE that we have a first movie, let alone that we're getting Catching Fire.

AND FINNICK.  WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

*DANCES WITH [livejournal.com profile] twirly*

THIS POST BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY LOVE FOR FINNICK ODAIR. 
yourgravity: ([stock] life is beautiful.)



In light of well, everything that's happened both recently, and in the last few years, when I heard this song today, I immediately downloaded it, because it struck a real chord with me.  It really made me think of how far I've come in recent months in some ways, and in recent years in others, and it made me think that like the song says, life takes us down different paths than we expect...and sometimes...that's for the best!

I still have a lot to learn, but I've let go of some people I was holding on to, and gotten through the pain, and realized I was hurting myself by holding on, and that by letting go and moving on, I've bettered myself.  :)

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah, sometimes, there’s good in goodbye


I don’t regret it
The time we had together
I won’t forget it
But we both ended up where we belong
I guess goodbye made us strong
And yeah I’m happy

I found somebody too who makes me happy
And I knew one day I’ll see you on the street
And it’d be bittersweet

But as bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Yeah, sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

yourgravity: ([stock] not lost.)



Just got in from an early 4th-of-July BBQ/hootnanny with the friends.  I feel so happy to have them in my life.  Tonight was a few people I'm used to and a few new people, and all around was a ton of fun.  We hung out from 4 until about 1am just laughing and talking and catch up, playing a (really horrible) game of volleyball and other stuff, eating great food, and having fun.  I feel so blessed in that aspect of my life! 

I made a HUGE choice tonight.  I signed up for Take Shape For Life and I'm over the moon about it.  It's a big lifestyle change, cutting out things like sweets, soda, and fast food (except for on an every once in awhile basis.)  For so long I resisted, thinking it was a crash diet, or a way of "cheating."  But now I can see that it will - hopefully - teach me how to make healthier eating choices, and do it in a way so that I hold myself accountable, but I also have a "coach," who's a good friend of mine who will help keep me motivated.  It must work, because her results have been amazing in about two years, and I've seen that happen, plus heard success stories, and had their program vouched for by a nutritionist friend of mine.

I've been wanting to lose weight for a LONG time.  That's no secret.  I need willpower and I need help.  I haven't been able to do it on my own, or by joining a gym.  I always give in and give up.  I always say that this time is different, then it isn't.  But I'm starting to get really scared for my future if I don't lose, and worse, if I keep gaining.  I'm hoping that by doing this - by investing the money in their food, their plan, and by basically giving myself no other option, that I'll stick to my guns and succeed.  I look in the mirror and I see that I'm disappearing into my weight, and that terrifies me.  I have to try to change that.

Otherwise, it's SO HOT here.  It hit 100+ again today.  They're talking about not shooting off fireworks for the 4th in town this year, which they ALWAYS do.  I'm worried about the garden and the pool.  I hope it rains soon.  *does a rain dance*  I want to be outside swimming and being active, but this heat is just stealing everyone's energy. 


 
yourgravity: ([stock] squee-worthy.)


you can't describe the sea
unless you've been there before

{ ++ } I'm back!  I had an AMAZING WONDERFUL FANTASTIC time in Florida!  Real entry plus hopefully a few pictures to come this weekend.  Thanks to everyone who wished me a fun time!  I dozed on the beach, swam in the ocean, saw dolphins and a few sharks, ate, laughed, drank, sang, and cried when I saw the ocean.  It was the time of my life.  :) 

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